Thursday, March 12, 2009

Movies That Just Won't Quit!

Do you miss the good old days when (movie) production companies took their time when making a movie? The out come, for the most part, was pretty good, right? It seems those days are long behind us. I've concluded that the movie industry has no shame when it comes to making sequels. It's like the industry went from, let's take our time, originality, think it through first to... how do I say this... who the heck cares, mass marketing, money profiting mongols.

To prove my point I have made a list of movies that are in the works as we speak, or shall I say as you read. These movies, in my humble opinion, should have never gone as far as they have already. I will say, however, there are few on the list that were actually pretty good in the beginning and well now (pauses and shakes head), due to the "let's keep going, more money, more money attitude" - thanks mo
vie industry (rolls eyes) - they up and ruined it for us. And let's not forget those movies on the list that were completely retarded from the very beginning and should have never seen the light of day. Why spend millions on a crap-shoot when there are starving kids in Africa?? Two words... GREED and stupidity.

Now I understand the concept of making more money, but really?... I mean, reeeeally? Why ruin a good thing? Gee, I really wish I could ask George Lucas the same question. But since I haven't won the lottery, haven't found a cure for cancer or met Johnny Depp, the universe is reminding me once again that we don't always get what we want now do we.

Tron 2.0 (2010) - Si-Fi fanatics, all over the world, most likely peed their pants at Comic Con this past year with breaking news of a sequel to the 1982 Tron. I remember watching this movie with my family long ago. It was suppose to be the top of the line in technology and visually striking and I'm sure it was for the time. But seeing it now with those out of date special effects and monstrous dish washer size computers is just funny. You can't help but laugh. The movie was fun and silly, but is it really great enough to continue with a sequel? And better yet, if it was so great why did they wait almost 30 years to proceed? Have we not learned anything?!!! Don't make me say The Godfather 3 and Indiana Jones 4. Hmm...

The Pitch: A virtual-world worker looks to take down the Master Control Program. Click here for teaser:

The Ring Three (2011) - Sometimes the prequels are better than the sequels (Underworld - Rise of the Lycans, Red Dragon), but I'm a little leery about this one. The Ring was such a brilliant movie from beginning to end. The idea of making a sequel seemed so cool, but The Ring Two was far from cool. It was just embarrassing and sad, not to mention really stupid. I don't have much hope for this latest installment as I see they hired the same director as The Ring Two - Hideo Nakata. BOO!

The Pitch: The film revolves around the events that took place before the 2002 remake of The Ring starring Naomi Watts. This reported prequel will tell the story of the years before the video tape came to be and the beginning of how Samara's terror began

Scream 4 (2011) - Now I thought the first movie was fun, shocking and original. Their marketing scheme was brilliant too - Drew Barrymore, anyone? Then they made Scream 2 and 3 - blah. blah. blah. They just got worse and worse in my opinion. So all I have to say to this self righteous, ghostface killer is; "Get over your pathetic whine-whine, I'm so abused, mommy issues and GIVE. IT. UP. already! No one cares anymore!

The Pitch: Set 10 years after Scream 3, we see a group of young adults being stalked, once again by ghostface himself. Don't think Nev Campbell will be staring in this movie. Bummer, cuz I to'ally would have seen it if that were the case. (sarcasm at its best)

Final Destination: Death Trap 3-D (8/09) - Otherwise known as #4 in this ridiculous, gore-ified, (clearly) never ending tale of Mr. Death himself claiming stupid, horny kids lives one by one. I call it Darwin at its best. And what's so "final" about this movie anyway? They've been saying that for almost a decade now. FINISH IT ALREADY! Ya know? Granted, the 4th installment is in 3-D and is bound to attract more viewers then usual, but still, let's be honest, this series is lame, overplayed and should have seen its final day after the first movie in 2000. Not even the 3-D gimmick will lure me into the theater for this one.

The Pitch: If you must know, our story begins after a teen's premonition of a deadly race-car crash. He then proceeds to help save the lives of his peers. Death sets out to collect those who evaded their end. Blah. Blah. Blah. Yeah, I remember that story in the first movie. We're over it.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009) - (shakes head after barfing profusely) I can't 'even' begin to tell you how absurd this is...(long pause)... If someone were to ask me what the worst movie on the planet is I would say Cabin Fever (2002) while rolling my eyes. I kid you not, you will loose I.Q. points just by looking at the cover of this movie in the video store. With the dumbest plot that never explains itself and actors who clearly know the "right" people in Hollywood, this movie couldn't be more ridiculous and furthermore has NO redeeming qualities what so ever. The fact that they are making a sequel to this never-should-have-happened movie just proves my point, there are a lot of dumb-asses out there - both movie industry and movie goers alike.

The Pitch: A high school prom faces a deadly threat: a flesh-eating virus that spreads via a popular brand of bottled water. (rolls eyes)

Jeepers Creepers 3 (2011) - First of all, what the heck is with this movies title? Honestly, I'd really like to meet the guy who said to his boss, "Hey, after giving this a lot of thought I finally have a really cool name for our next movie!" And I'm sure that's exactly how it went too. So I remember watching the 1st movie with my friend back in 2001 and being completely freaked out (pause), until the first 20 minutes was up. After that the movie proceeded to take us on a downward spiral into the sty of lameness. The movie had promise till it went all Si-Fi on us. WTH?! And to hear they made a sequel?! (shakes head) WOW! And now this?! (continues to shake head)

The Pitch: It includes a prologue in the Old West and might bring back several characters from the first two films. Well, why didn't you say so? If they bring back Justin Long (He's Just Not That Into You), I'm sooooo there.

28 Months Later (2011) - Uh, what's next, 28 Years Later? And why stop there? We can go on forever with this one - 28 Decades Later, 28 Centuries Later even. (sighs) I saw the first movie back in 2002 and to be honest Zombies just don't do it for me, unless we're talking about Shawn of the Dead - great movie btw! I just don't see the fascination with zombies, and that's OK, different strokes/different folks. But what I really don't understand is how can the story line be any different from the first film? I mean it's all the same isn't? A group of humans find safety from the zombies, humans are found, humans die with the exception of one, maybe even a few, the end. The fact that they made a sequel boggled my mind a little and now this. I have no doubt after the 3rd installment they'll continue with a 4th and a 5th.

This movie is still in production, so no script has been written yet, but if you've seen the 1st or 2nd I'm pretty sure you've already seen this one.

Crank: High Voltage (4/09) -
Or better known as Crank 2. This movie oozes the words ridiculous and silly all over the screen. I'm sure it's fun for wha
t it is. I mean it has high intense energy, tons of action and a shirtless Jason Statham - yum. But even he co
uldn't persuade me to spend $10.00 on this movie. I draw the line at Transporter 3 - horrible btw.

The Pitch: Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. Wow, they've really outdone themselves this time folks. Be sure to look for Crank: 'IT UP' in 2011.

Fast and Furious (4/09) -
Not to be confused with THE Fast and THE Furious of course. The first movie is a
Guilty Pleasure of mine. Hey, we've all got 'em, right? After “2 Fast 2 Furious” and “Tokyo Drift” came along (which I never saw, I might add) it really set the bar low — like, really low — leaving potential for the 4th movie in this over-the-top series. I'll be the first to admit, these movies encompass bad acting and poor writing, but they're also fun and silly. And while we're on the I-admit-it-path, I will most likely see F&F when it comes out next month - which in my opinion should have been the true sequel. The other 2 should have never been made.

The Pitch: What difference does it make? Just like the three predecessors in the "F&F" franchise, this vroom-vroom, bang-bang extravaganza runs on hot wheels, sexy dames and macho men. New Model. Original Parts. Ah-Yeah!

The word on the street is they are making a
Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (2012), The Brazilian Job - aka The Italian Job 2 (2011), Bourne 4 (2010), Jurassic Park 4, and Top Gun 2.

You know, those movies were really good in the beginning and for some that's exactly where they needed to stay. It's a shame they ruined that greatness by continuing with sequel after sequel. I'm OK when they continue the story if it is done right - Bourne Supremacy/Ultimatum anyone? I'm NOT OK when they up and ruin it for no good reason other than more money, more money.

Take your time when making a movie, think of something original, write a good script, get the right actors, hold out if ya have to and more importantly LEARN WHEN TO STOP. There is no point in ruining and/or rushing a good thing. Now, I understand why the movie industry continues with these ridiculous sequels - they can be relatively cheap to make and since there's a market for these lame movies, which is unfortunate, in return they make $bank$. However, just because that is doesn't mean it should be.


Dave said...

The Brazilian Job? I thought that was going to be about a bad bikini wax!

Dave said...

Love the site! Love the pics of upcoming movies. Now you need to have a summer block buster poll on two things:

Which movie makes the most money.

Which movie is the best.

Melain said...

OMG your new look is fantastic! Do you love it?

You had me cracking UP girl. SOOO funny, and sadly true. I can't believe how unoriginal and pathetic Hollywood is becoming. Even Terminator. I know it'll be all badazz and I'm totally going to see it, but come ON! It's a Has-Been movie series from the 80s! Give us something new! Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.

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