Thursday, January 3, 2013

Top 10 Best & Worst Movies of 2012

It's time to reflect on the year with excellence and happiness and, lest we forget, embarrassment and dislike. Compiling my top picks for 2012 proved a much easier task than years past. I will say, though, there were a few movies I sadly didn't get a chance to see in time - Zero Dark Thirty, Hitchcock, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Silver Linings Playbook and The Beast of the Southern Wild. Who knows what these lists would look like if I had. Alas, without further ado I present to you my tops picks for the BEST & WORST movies of  2012.

Worst of the Worst

Dishonorable Mentions:
Anna Karenina
Total Recall
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

10. The Cold Light of Day
I wouldn't be surprised if you've never even heard of this movie.  It kinda flew under the radar and rightfully so. Too bad it didn't stay there. Even the incredibly sexy, Henry Cavill (our new Man of Steel) couldn't save this poorly written movie riddled with too many laughable plot holes.  

9. Lockout
Just your typical action flick, only this time around it packs a soggy punch, backed by some laughable acting, weak stunts and ugly wigs. The worst part about this lame action flick is the shame of how cool it thinks it really is, sort of like the class dork posing as the class clown. Meh...

8. Gone
I'll take "this movie is pretty weak" for $2000, Alex. I mean come on! What started off as a cool premise ended with one of the dumbest anticlimactic endings ever. Sure it had a few cool twists, but all in all I was pretty let down... even with my low expectations.

7. Rock of Ages
Put a bunch of movie stars in a karaoke bar and make them sing is one thing, pay to see them sing professionally is quite another. It lurched around awkwardly in ugly fashion, never quite reaching the cool factor they had hope for, but instead it ended up being an over the top ridiculous hot mess.
Can Kate Beckinsale take a movie role without dressing in tight, black leather? Sure, she looks smoking' hot, too bad that can't be said about her movies, much less this lame vampire flick. This drawn-out, sub-par movie lacks in substance, style and... wait... was there a plot? 
More like premium boredom. What looked like a suspenseful, cool, thriller, turned out to be a disappointing, I-could-care-less bore. Never once do you feel for the main characters, and the villain (psh) what a joke. In fact the movie is one big joke. I've definitely had better.
I'm sad I can say I've seen this never ending story.  This exhausting series needs to end now before it's too late (wait, too late). As the series continues the movie dwindles in creativity.   It was predicable and flat with little to no scares.
This pathetic sequel, loosely based on Greek mythology, is a huge CGI, bore-snore, mess. It failed to improve on any of the elements from the first movie and even made some huge flaws in its chaotic storyline, not to mention the silly acting. Zeus, myself, was displeased to say the least. 
If you are about to go over a ledge of a roaring waterfall and someone tosses you a line and shouts, "I'll tow you to shore, but then we have to watch Vampire Hunter," take the plunge. And I don't want to hear about how you can't swim either.
I know it isn't much of a surprise,
but the worst movie of the year goes to...
While the first film was a solid tongue-in-cheek parody of Jaws, this sequel missed the mark by (sigh) a ton. Not only is this the worst movie of the year, but undoubtedly the worst movie ever made. It holds a special place in my heart for its unique brand of ultimate failure. I am now that much dumber for having watched this disgusting, smelly pile of poo.  C'mon Danielle Panabaker, you're better than this! 

Best of the Best

Honorable Mentions:
Marvel's The Avengers
The Cabin in the Woods
Jack Reacher

10. Django Unchained
It has every single element of a perfect Quentin Tarantino movie with the added pleasure of almost being better than his previous work... almost.  This old time western, centered around slavery in the south, is one smart and entertaining movie with some strong performances.

"Adult supervision is required"

9. Les Misérables  
Tom Hooper's direction and the cinematography, costumes, art design and editing are nothing short of spectacular. One of the worlds greatest musicals of all time shined on the silver screen.  It will leave you laughing, crying, and feeling inspired.

"I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living!"

8. Moonrise Kingdom
Here's a pleasant delight that keeps getting better and better the more you watch it.  Wes Anderson's funny, wrenching ode to young love may not win any major awards, but it's charming, witty and above all extremely creative. Definitely one of my favorite Anderson films to date.

"What kind of bird are you?"

7. Skyfall
007 rises from the garbage and rubble that was Quantum of Solace, electing this time around to kick some major British butt.  And I must say he succeeds with flying colors.  More glamour, more action and more toys not to mention a superb villain. 

"Some men are coming to kill us... we're going to kill them first."

6. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Peter Jackson takes us back to the magical world of Middle Earth and delivers on every account.  Jackson's technological 3D wizardry certainly paid off.  The pacing, the shot angles, the acting, the script, all very well done indeed. 

"Well, if he looses, precious, then we eats it! If Baggins looses, we eats it whole!"

5. The Dark Knight Rises
Christopher Nolan did the seemingly impossible by giving the Batman legend a monumental conclusion to the epic trilogy it deserves.  He proved that even the third movie in the series can be just as exciting, if not better than the first.
"My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men."

4. Life of Pi 
The most charming 3D adventure of this year belongs to a young boy named Pi. Ang Lee's film achieves the near impossible - it's a fantastical technical achievement that's emotionally rewarding as well.  A lot more endearing than expected.

"So which story do you prefer?" 

3. Looper
This tight, Sci-Fi movie, about time travel, delivers with thunderous applause. It's smart, original, thought provoking, with a surprising amount of heart. I guarantee by the end of the movie you will pause before saying "wow."

"Ask yourself: who would I sacrifice for what's MINE?"

2. Lincoln
Steven Spielberg brings genius to the silver screen once again with his absorbing take on our 16th president, brought vividly back to life by none other than that great “American” Daniel Day-Lewis (ahem, I'm really glad he won the Oscar for this role too). It's surprisingly thrilling and powerful. Amazing.
"Trust? Gentlemen, you seem to have forgotten that our chosen career is politics."

Drum roll please...
And the #1 Best of movie of 2012 belongs to...

1. Argo
A true story about how an inventive CIA operative called upon Hollywood to help stage an elaborate ruse that led to the “ex-filtration” of six Americans trapped in Iran following the overthrow of the shah in 1979. It's an extremely well written, acted and directed film.  Ben Affleck shines both on and off screen.  It's without a doubt thrilling, exciting and heart-pounding, with a lot of heart and soul. A definite must see.

"If I'm going to make a fake movie, it's going to be a fake hit."

There ya have it folks, 2012 in a nutshell.  I do find it interesting that Abraham Lincoln managed to make the #2 slot on both my lists. Huh. Anyway, 2013 looks bright ahead and boy does it looks promising.  Cannot wait!  So did your favorite movie of the year make the cut? Something I missed? Let me know what your Best & Worst movies of 2012 were and why they belong on said list!


Troy said...

Not even an honorable mention for Prometheus as worst movie???

Go shawty! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Go shawty! said...

Can't wait to watch Looper with my favorite sister this weekend.
I guess I gotta see Argo now as well.

Kristen said...

I take it you did not like it???

Groverfam said...

I have nt seen your top 3...I will be seeing Lincoln and argo... but v life of pi has my vote for best b picture of the year

Surf Goddess said...

love it! argo was fantastic, as was les mis. cant' wait to see the rest!

jfun said...

Ugh. Les Mis. I was one of the Mis in that movie. haha. I LOVE YOUR LISTS, as usual.

Can't wait to see Lincoln and Argo!

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