Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Top 10 Best & Worst Movies of 2013

Ah yes, it's that time of year again, where I recap the best and worst films of the year.  Compiling the list for best movies was a little more daunting than expected, only because there were so many excellent movies to choose from, and putting them in order was a difficult task as well.  I never seem to have trouble compiling my list for the bad movies though.  It's kind of embarrassing how many horrible movies I saw last year.  With that said, I present the Top 10 Best & Worst Movies of 2013. Enjoy!

*Worst of the Worst*
Dishonorable mentions:
This Is the End
At World's End
Red 2
The Call 
The Place Beyond the Pines



10. A Good Day to Die Hard
Or just a bad day to kill a franchise. Now, I actually enjoyed this movie (perhaps it had something to do with my low, low expectations), but by no means is this a good quality movie. And while even McClane on his best day couldn't save this mailed-it-in pooper, at least Bruce Willis could have tried.

9. Broken City: 
Not as smart as you would think, not as cleaver as you would hope. It’s never a good sign when 5 minutes into a film you can guess the ending. Predictable and lackluster at best.  Next!

8. Girl Most Likely: 
Ahem, girl most likely to put you to sleep that is. Now I love , and I thought this would be funny, but more than anything it bored me to tears. Just pass.

 
7. Gangster Squad
It felt more like a cheesy, old-school video game rather than an actual movie. Way too artsy for this type of film.  And it just dragged on and on... and on. What looked like a cool gangster movie set in the 40’s, turned out to be a huge, bore-snore disappointment. I've had better.

6. White House Down
(rolls eyes) Oh, please. One of the most idiotic and cliché-ridden movies ever. It’s The Bourne Identity for underage simpletons. Cheesy with a side of bad acting. Even abs-for-days, , couldn’t save this hot mess.

5. Oz the Great and Powerful
This charmless 3-D prequel never should have seen the light of day. Let’s take one of the most classical movies of all time and just poo all over it. I think they spent all their time and energy making this movie look good in lieu of a decent script.

4. Mama: 
I’m confused. Was this supposed to be a comedy or a horror movie? What a complete and utter joke this mistake of a movie was! I generally don’t go to a horror movie to laugh. C’mon, now. Villains are supposed to be scary and mean,... hence them being villains. Duh.

3. The Bling Ring
Two words: Bore-Ring.

2. The Host
If you are ever sucked up into an alien spacecraft, and the extraterrestrials offer you a choice between getting probed with their instruments or watching The Host then fine, OK, option B, but still...

And the #1 worst movie of the year goes to...

1. Texas Chainsaw 3D
This was the first big movie released in 2013 and remains, even at the end, thee absolute worst movie of the year. Let’s see… Not even close to being scary, check. Attempts to bring compassion to the man with the chainsaw, double check. Horrible ending, triple check. I don't know who's worse, the folks who made this film or the suckers who paid to see it. Either way I am now dumber for having watched this.


**Best of the Best**
Honorable mentions:
Ender's Game
The Conjuring
The Great Gatsby
Catching Fire
Frozen


10. The Wolf of Wall Street
When folks like and Leonardo DiCaprio collaborate their talents to a crafty new take on excess and greed you get pure genius, not to mention exciting entertainment. And though this movie was over the top and about 45 minutes too long, that scene when Leo is trying to open his car door is hands down the best comedic performance of the year and possibly ever.

"I'll tell you what: I'm never eating at Benihana again. I don't care whose birthday it is." 


9. Man of Steel
Superman + Henry Cavill = last year’s best superhero movie. This reboot  was fresh, yet familiar and packed one powerful punch. Great cast, great costumes, great action, great script, great direction and all around great storytelling. Forget the haters, this movie was super-rad! 

"The fact that you possess a sense of morality, and we do not, gives us an evolutionary advantage. And if history has proven anything it is that evolution always wins."

 
8. Star Trek Into Darkness: 
This movie was everything a Summer Blockbuster should be and more. It was full of life, wit, smarts, intense thrills and sheer gratifying entertainment. Not only did it seriously blow our collected mind to pieces, but it met every high expectation we had. 

"Because you are my friend."


7. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
As we returned to the magical world of Middle Earth we find ourselves overcome with adventure, thrills and excitement. 's technological 3D wizardry certainly lived up to all the hype. The pacing, the shot angles, the script, not to mention that astounding dragon in the end. W-o-w.  Superb.

"There is something about you. Something you carry, something made of gold... but far more PRECIOUS..."




6. Her
The most original and brilliant futuristic love story of the year. Here's to a captivating splendor that grabs ahold of you tightly. It’s sweet and soulful and will have you eating out of the palm of its hands by the end. 

Falling in love is a crazy thing to do. It's like a socially acceptable form of insanity.”


5. Philomena
This true story, about an old lady trying to find her son that she was forced to give up as a young teenager, is incredibly touching, warm and surprisingly funny. Hope and forgiveness will resonate with you long after the credits roll. I have no doubt will get an Oscar nom for her sweet and charming performance. She was excellent!  This film was truly a wonderful delight.

“I didn’t see that coming, not in a million years.” 


4. Gravity
Visually stunning? Absolutely. Monumental? No question. Edge of your seat, gripping? Most definitely! Who knew from the trailer alone this movie would be as phenomenal as it was. It wouldn’t surprise me, either, if Ms. took home a golden statue for this role. 

"Half of North America just lost their Facebook."


3. Captain Phillips
The last 15 minutes will redefine acting for sure, not to mention it will have you balling like a little girl. Tom Hanks was incredible!  No doubt he will get an Oscar nom for his powerful performance. The movie as a whole is seriously one wild adventure.  And even though we knew the outcome, it still managed to have you on the edge of your seat begging for more. 

"You said you were a business man! Is this how you do business?"


2. American Hustle
, as usual, brings his A-game in this incredible look at what it takes to hustle. The 70’s are back, baby. Along with this amazing cast ( seriously blew me away), the cinematography, costumes, art design and editing are nothing short of spectacular. What an excellent movie with a killer ending. 

“She was the Picasso of passive-aggressive karate.” 


Drum roll please... And the #1 best movie of the year belongs to...

1. Saving Mr. Banks
Incredibly likable and extremely sentimental.  The most charming and charismatic film of the year belongs to our beloved Mary Poppins, or rather the story behind the iconic character and all it took to bring her to life. What gives Saving Mr. Banks its depth and appeal is the way it lets us look into the life, the pain and the heart of the young Helen Goff. If you haven’t seen this movie yet be prepared to be mesmerized. And don’t forget your Kleenex. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, indeed. 

"We can't make this film without the color red - it's set in London, for Pete's sake!"


There were a few movies I didn't get to in time like 12 Years a Slave, Blue Jasmine, Elysium, Inside Llewyn Davis and Nebraska, so who knows what these lists might have looked like if I had.  But there you have it folks. The floor is now yours... What movies made your best and worst list of 2013?

4 comments:

Go shawty! said...

I have to agree. This is well thought out.

Anonymous said...

I certainly agree with your choices of best films. Unfortunately, I saved my money for all your worst picks.

J

JB said...

Did you see all those movies??? I didn't see even one of the Ten Worst!! And you said DeCaprio's movie was "over the top" yet you gave it a pretty good review... hummmm Anyway, I'm glad you liked Superman, Man of Steel. ha ha I thought it was horrible (I know I've told you this before)

Anonymous said...

Fun! Love your reviews! You have a very compelling way of relating your views! Loved that mr banks is number 1, though frozen definitely made my list of top 5!


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