Monday, July 7, 2014

Transformers: Age of Extinction Review

There are always five basic cinematic trademarks to every Michael Bay movie: product placement, neon lights, slow-motion action sequences, hot babes and lest we forget... explosions. No Michael Bay movie would be complete without that self-indulgent flair. And you can bet the 165 minute never. ending. story., based on the beloved children’s cartoons in the 80's, had exactly that.

I really wanted to like Transformers: Age of Extinction, but in the end I just wanted it to be over.  It was a wise decision, though, to replace the stuttering and bumbling awkward boy played by Shia LaBeouf, with a widower named Cade Yeager (), who divides his time between building defective robots in his barn and telling his 17 year daughter, Tessa (), she cannot date until she graduates high school. 

I would say the first half of the movie was off to a great start. I actually enjoyed it for what it was. It was fun, funny, exciting, interesting and captivating. It wasn't until the story took us to Hong Kong that I wanted to die. Half the dialogue is just the characters loudly describing what they were seeing, and some of it was so bad I actually started beating my head against the back of my seat to make it stop. There was so much happening all at once that by the end I didn’t really care what happen to our main heroes. I got tired of Optimus Prime batting for the humans, then changing his mind, only to get back on board again. He wasn’t this fierce unwavering Autobot leader we know him to be, but rather unsure of himself and kind of annoying. Plus the special effects are a lot been-there-done-that. 

An action movie doesn’t have to be clever to be good. But it shouldn’t be this dumb. The plot is deceptively simple, despite being turned into an incomprehensible hot mess. But if plot is what you're after, what are you doing at a Michael Bay movie? 


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