Friday, January 15, 2016

Top 10 Best & Worst Movies - 2015

Ah, it's that time of year again - a flash of remembrance. The best of the best and worst of the worst. Here lies my reasoning's behind my Top Ten Best & Worst Movies of 2015. This year certainly proved note-worthy to say the least. But before we get started I will say there were quite a few movies I didn't get to in time - Carol, The RevenantAbout RayThe Danish Girl, Spotlight, Room, The Big Short, Point Break, Brooklyn and Joy. Who knows what these lists would have looked like if I had. With that said, here are my top picks. Enjoy!


*WORST of the WORST* 

10. Magic Mike XXL
How difficult is it to take this gorgeous cast and put them in a halfway decent stripper flick? The answer is very. Call me crazy, but shouldn't there be TONS-O-STRIPPING at a stripper convention?! Psh, this movie might as well be PG-13.

Clever concept, horrible delivery. The narration throughout the entire movie was almost insulting. At times it was so painful my eyes got a cramp from all the eye-rolling.

It’s never a good sign when our main heroine is extremely unlikable from the get-go. UGH!! In the end our heroine and the weak story-line will drive you.... mad.

This easily forgettable, been-there-done-that-many-times-over-and-over plot was just too predictable and boring.  The side of bad acting didn't help either. It's no wonder is up for a Razzies.  We could not care less.

Or just the longest, drawn out movie ever. Now I'm not immune to the pleasures of a terrific romance - The Notebook is among my favorites. But even abs-for-days, , couldn’t  save this cheesy, charmless love story. 

Oh, stop your whining, Anastasia Steele! You don’t even know what real pain is. That pain was left for the audience to endure. It's just not stylish enough to be a decent film and it’s not naughty enough to distract us. Lack of chemistry, check.  Poorly written script, double check.  Razzies here we come! 

This horrific and pointless, dialed-in remake mostly exists to kill brain cells, and a couple hours of our lives with meaningless, forgettable nonsense that just won't fascinate or excite. HARD pass.

If you are ever sucked up into an alien spacecraft, and the extraterrestrials offer you a choice between getting probed with their instruments or watching Jupiter Ascending then OK, fine, option B, but still...

With THEE most impetuous and un-apologetically over privileged slew of punks since Sex and the City 2, it’s no wonder this disappointing, "I couldn't care less," hot-mess made this list. On a scale of one to even… I just can’t. 

1. Aloha
Sony has thrown $37 million at the screen for 105 minutes of garbage, and none of it stuck. The “Did I leave this flick for a quick sec. and walk into another?” movie is not even worth the poo I threw at the screen. With a horribly mix of bland characters and a premise that ties “romance” with a ridiculous Scooby Doo villain plot is without question the worst and most perplexing movie EVER!!!

*Best of the Best*


10.  Black Mass
Whitey Bulger's Boston mob pals don't mess around and you can tell they mean bidness! I am surprised the ever-so-lovely chameleon that is Johnny Depp didn't get more praise for this role (I'm looking at you Oscars!).  His knock-out, stellar performance was spot-on, menacing and not a little bit frightening/creepy.  This true story will engage and captivate long after the credits roll. 
"How was he good to you, John? Did he take you trick-or-treating?"  

This charming and original  animated movie is easily the most high-concept piece Disney/Pixar has ever made. It's playfully funny, thought-provoking and mood-moving all in one. The stellar animation not only speaks volumes, but its powerful message is everything. That is to say there is opposition in all things - light & dark, day & night, Joy & Sadness. 

"Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life's problems."

Based on the (surprisingly) recent true story of a doctor who challenges a corporation that owns a day of the week, Concussion, is invigorating, all backed by one of the best Will Smith performances of his long career.  You can't tell me you knew it was him the first time you saw the trailer.  I mean, WOW.  Crushed it!
"The NFL owns a day of the week. The same day the Church used to own. Now it's theirs."

This real-life spin on the 1950's enchanting animated movie charmed us to our core. It's a magical must-see! A true delight. One of the most important elements in a love story is chemistry between the two leads - we have our fairy-godmother to thank for that. I have a sneaky suspicion Cinderella will snag Best Costume at the 88th Academy Awards this year. 
"When there is kindness, there is goodness. When there is goodness, there is magic."
 
From the visionary director , comes an extension to the 70's beloved franchise, Mad Max. Stylized to perfection and one of the coolest/dopest looking movies to ever hit the silver screen, it's easy to see why this balls-to-the-wall, action-packed movie made the cut.
"When I yell "fool," you drive out of here as fast as you can."

5. Creed
One would think the seventh movie in the "Rocky" franchise would bring more bland story telling than a wet mop, but that's certainly not the case.  What looks like a dialed-in "ho-hum" story ends up succeeding as our favorite "under-dog" movie since the first Rocky. It takes us back to the basics.  It's realistic, down-to-earth, fun and surprisingly engaging. You don't wanna miss it.
"Time takes everybody out; time's undefeated."

Is it OK to fall in love a robot?  Because that's exactly what happened here.  The morally, unassuming, slow-moving thriller takes us for one beautiful, "what just happened" ride. It's a trip on all accounts and will resonate with you long after the movie ends. All-star cast, excellent story telling, interesting/fresh idea, superb delivery. 
"We need to talk about the lies you've been spinning me."

What a remarkably chaotic take on the drug-war world. This movie holds some of the most all-pervading and suspenseful story telling around, backed by remarkable performances ( will blow you away - pun intended). And that heart-pounding Oscar deserving score definitely commands your attention.  The music intensifies this thriller for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if it won either best original score or best cinematography.
"Nothing will make sense to your American ears, and you will doubt everything that we do, but in the end you will understand."

This book to film adaptation delivers with flying colors. It proves its legacy is an excellent work of art. It tugs on every emotion - fear, doubt, excitement, humor, joy, sadness etc. Exceptional, Oscar deserving performance by the lovely Matt Damon (but sorry Damon, this is Leo's year), and an impressive, Oscar deserving screen play.  It will not disappoint. 
"I admit it's fatally dangerous, but I'd get to fly around like Iron Man."

In a galaxy far, far away... The most iconic sci-fi movie in the history of pop-culture remains as popular as ever. It is a cultural phenomenon like no other. The space opera absolutely killed it this year! Phenomenal story telling, excellent pacing, suburb special effects, stunning visuals, intense action sequences. This emotional roller-coaster has it all.  Seriously, movies just don't get any more fun than this! It's easy to see why this film snags the #1 spot this year.
"That's not how the Force works."

It was a stupendous year it film, no doubt.  And I thoroughly look forward to seeing what 2016 has in store.  See ya at the movies!

The floor is now yours!  Did your favorite movie of the year make the list? Something I missed? Let me know what your Best and Worst movies of 2015 were...
 

2 comments:

Go shawty! said...

I sort of want to see Aloha but I know I will regret it.

I think spotlight and the big short will be good and I intend to see them both. Otherwise your list is on point.

Mayflower said...

I love your descriptive wording, especially in the worst movies. You made me laugh! Thanks for the list. And, for the record, I saw Point Break. It def would have made the cut for the bottom 10. Don't waste your time!


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