Monday, January 29, 2018

Top Ten Best & Worst Movies - 2017

2017 captivated us with a slue of outstanding films - spanning from action blockbusters to super-hero gems, fairy-tale wonders to refreshing comedies, historical dramas to terrifying horrors flicks, all of which rocked our world.  This year was incredible!  Though, there were a few movies I didn't get to in time - Phantom Thread, The Florida Project, It Comes at Night, Mother!, Flatliners, The Snowman, The Man Who Invented Christmas and Downsizing.  As you can see I missed a few (ahem, or not). Who knows what these two lists would have looked like otherwise. With that said, here are my top picks. Enjoy!


~YOU'RE THE WORST~

I'll take "Lame Book-to-Film Adaptations" for $2000, Alex. I mean, come on! What started off as a cool premise ended with one of the dumbest anticlimactic endings ever. Sure, it had a few cool twists, but all-in-all I was pretty let down... even with my low expectations.




More like 47 Meters down the pooper! GAH. This "Lifetime" movie isn't as smart as you would think and not as cleaver as you would hope. It’s never a good sign when within five minutes of the movie you guess the ending. Predictable and lackluster at best. Next.




Yeah. Like how one can't forget wasting their time and energy on this curb-stopping snooze-fest.  The best thing about this flick is the inevitable episode of How Did This Get Made that will fasho inspire it.



More like Before I Fall into a coma from hitting my head so hard on the back of my seat because this movie is hella weak.  It's dreary in tone and subject, which mirrors the long and drawn out plot. No one is even remotely likable either, and the ending begs the question "I wasted all this time for that?!  I want my money and time back!  Just watch Groundhog Day instead.




Just your typical action-packed blockbuster, only this time around it packs a soggy punch, backed by some laughable acting, weak stunts and ugly wigs. The worst part about this lame-o is the shame of how cool it thinks it really is - sort of like the class dork posing as the class clown. Meh.




Scarlett Johansson works overtime to salvage this dismal Bridesmaids knockoff, which is basically a chick retreat of The Hangover and Weekend at Bernie's.  It's too over the top and warrants very few laughs. 



If you are ever sucked up into an alien spacecraft, and the extraterrestrials offer you a choice between getting probed with their instruments or watching The Cure for Wellness then OK, fine, option B, but still...



If you are about to go over a ledge of a roaring waterfall and someone tosses you a line and shouts, "I'll tow you to shore, but then we have to watch John Wick 2," take the plunge. And I don't want to hear about how you can't swim, either.



Just when you thought the void couldn't get any darker, along comes the sequel to "Fifty Shades of Grey," and it's even lower in intellect than the first. It easily could be titled "The Normalization of Boring Christian Grey." The plot is so scattered it's ridiculous. To call this watchable is fake news. 



In quick fashion, Mae goes from joking about drinking the company Kool-Aid to guzzling it, no questions asked.  We can almost see her brain cells disappear as she buys into The Circle's ever-intrusive game plan. This been-there/done-that plot is outrageously ridiculous, with a dialed-in, anti-climatic, WTF ending ever. GAH.  You're the worst!


~YOU'RE THE BEST~

Disney excels in creating movie worlds, just like this real-life spin on 1990's enchanted animated movie, which charmed us to our core. "A Tale as Old as Time" shines through with flying colors. It's a heart-warming, magical must-see you don't want to miss!

"What do you want to be for the rest of your life, Cogsworth? A man or a mantle clock?"



9.  Wonder
Maybe this little movie isn't solely about a kid who's disfigured, but about whatever you and I choose to see in it.  It's wildly charming and brimming to the rim of profound messages sprinkled throughout. You will laugh, you will cry, you will be amazed, but more than anything this feel-good "wonder" will make your heart soar!


"I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives."



In the midst of all the hard hitting dramas last season, here comes a refreshing, cinematic delight.  It's wildly hilarious with a surprisingly thought-out plot.  Sure, it's a reboot/remake, but whatever, you will be glued to your seat begging for more. Jack Black's portrayal of a teenage girl is both the best part and on-point. I never laughed so hard. But above all, this blockbuster reminds us why we go to the movies to begin with... to be entertained.  You will never have more fun at the movies!

"I can't believe I'm not Instagraming this right now."




The fate of Western Europe hangs on Winston Churchill in the early days of World War II in this straightforward day-by-day depiction of world-changing events. Gary Oldman (one of my favorite actors) wheels the iconic charter vividly to life with such ease you forget it's only acting.  Well done.

"Will you stop interrupting me while I am interrupting you!"




Despite its bleak topic, it's the ever so powerful strength and performances delivered by McDormand, Harrelson and Rockwell (love him, BT-Dubs) that keeps this movie sturdily anchored in a compelling realistic reality.

"It's 'Persons of color'- torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody."



5.  Get Out
At first I wasn't sure what to make of this thriller, but the more it resonated with me the more I came to realize how incredibly outstanding this movie truly is.  It's absolutely brilliant and effortlessly original. It's dark, creepy and full of twits and turns. Heck YES!

"You know I can't give you the keys, right, babe?" 



4.  IT
This little shop of horrors is a masterpiece of cinematic fright. 'It' so effortlessly blends the perfect amount of horror, humor and heart. There's definitely a skillful balance of nostalgic sentiment and hair-raising effects. It does so well paying tribute to the original source without suffocating any of it. Needless to say, fans alike will not be disappointed.

"I'm sorry, who invited Molly Ringwald into the group?"



3.  The Post
Steven Spielberg brings genius to the silver screen, once again, with his absorbing take the country's first female newspaper publisher and a hard-hitting editor. Spielberg offers a tight, lucid and highly satisfying account of the Pentagon Papers from the point of view of The Post. It's surprisingly thrilling and powerful with outstanding acting and direction. Amazing.

"My decision stands, and now I'm going to bed."



2.  Dunkirk
Visually stunning? Absolutely. Monumental? No question. Edge of your seat, gripping? Most definitely! This show-stopping, historical stunner was a real eye-opener with wit, smarts and intense thrills. Not only did it seriously blow our collected minds to pieces, but it met every high expectations we had.  Bravo! This is one movie that most-definitely needs to be seen on the IMAX screen. 

"Men my age dictate this war. Why should we be allowed to send our children to fight it?"



1.  Lady Bird
I can't say enough good things about this dramedy! This heartfelt, coming-of-age story perfectly captures the bittersweet transition from adolescence to adulthood with such ease, awkwardness and realism.  This sweet and quirky film is brilliant on all accounts and had me smiling from ear to ear throughout the entire movie. The effortless flow of character-driven action will both amuse and endear and quite simply make you say you're the best!

"Listen, if your mother had had the abortion, we wouldn't have to sit through this stupid assembly!" 



It was a stupendous year it film, no question. I thoroughly look forward to seeing what 2018 has in store. See ya at the movies!

The floor is now yours! Did your favorite movie of the year make the list? Something I missed? Let me know what your Best and Worst movies of 2017 were in the comment section below.

1 comments:

Melain said...

The Greatest Showman! My favorite movie of the year, no contest


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